The writer’s block, which caused a three month hiatus between this
and my previous post, was trounced by a tender query!
We were dining at a recent family get-together, when this little
boy, all of 10 years, did not like the food that was served. He had come,
dreaming of a feast but was disappointed with the spread. His mother scolded him, “Eat
whatever is served”
He started
crying.
“Stop crying. I
have told you so many times, Boys do not cry”, he was ordered.
Hungry and
heartbroken, he retorted, “Mama, why cannot the boys cry?”
Pointing
towards his sister, he questioned his mother, “She cries so often but do you ever
say that girls do not cry? Why impose this limit on me?”
Before his
mother could react, her phone rang up; she instantly picked up the call,
visibly relieved from the uncomfortable query.
I watched
silently, pondering at the child’s query - “Mama,
why cannot the boys cry?”
To disengage
from the subject, I picked up the day’s newspaper. Alas! The headlines said
“Wannacry…”
The world was
shaken. So was I.
It was peril unleashed – that, too, without any gender
discrimination. Saboteurs did not choose whether the sufferer was a male or a
female, boy or a girl. They hijacked for ransom. The paper mentioned news - and
showed images - of men and women alike, cribbing at the loss of valuable data. Apparently, the loss of data today is as painful as the loss of a good
feast to our young lad. The hackers, however, were true epitome of equal
opportunity. They followed gender neutrality unlike the mother who treated the
manifestation of sentiments by boys differently from that by girls.
Like her, most schools of thoughts believe that men are not
expected to cry. I was told by smart seniors and elders that girls do not fall
for guys who cry. I believed their words for some time.
(How many girls fell is best kept beyond this
blog!)
From Gladiators to Bahubalis – men have been expected to be ambassadors
of fortitude; despite the existence of Laxmibai or Joan of Arc!
An untrue depiction - not just of history but also nature; nature
loves symmetry, humans dictate otherwise. Emotions have been distributed equally
among all human genders. Homo Sapiens
is perhaps the only species that sheds tears, not on account of biological need,
but in response to emotions
experienced from stress, pleasure or pain.
Our tears are children of emotions. A cry is as comforting
as a cuddle from a child.
Unfortunately, we, under veils of hypocrisy, have denied
that comfort to boys, nee men. First, the doctrine - boys do not cry; second,
the dictum - crying in public is a cardinal sin, protect the rarity of a male
tear!
Nevertheless, a few brave men have shown defiance -
George Washington cried in public while taking oath as President of America in 1789; Jawaharlal Nehru wept after a soulful rendition of Mere Watan ke Logo; Sachin Tendulkar shed tear on his 100th hundred; and not long ago, Narendra Modi
cried in Parliament; A cry in public – either by a man or a woman – is a form of social
signaling; it may be perceived as weakness but is symbolic of life; it is a statement
of one’s existence; it is the fragrance of a feeling; it is reality unfolded; and
above all, it is nature’s call !
To alter quote (
original quote) my friend Manu, “Truth glimmers
through mosaic of tears”
Psychologists have established that emotions do not
evaporate. When there is an urge to cry, shed a tear, else vent out in rage. While
“The man who cried” was just a one-off
movie, there are many a men who cried, cry and want to cry but abstain due to public
ignominy - they act everyday! Restraint on masculine expression takes dangerous forms – anger, revenge,
bullying, rape and even murder. To cut this, let us unmask the truth and
unfold the reality. While we support women’s liberation, I wish a moment is also
spared for men’s clamor for catharsis.
Crying is certainly cathartic - for men and women
alike.
“Take some water” a soft voice attracted my
attention. The telephonic break had altered the mood. The mother was now
cuddling the little boy and wiping her tears, as he sobbed.
I gladly saw the inverse of 'women weep, men wipe'.
Was there permanence in her turnaround or was it merely
a portrayal? I mused. A change, however, had been triggered.
This reinforced my belief in the adage that nothing
can stop an idea whose time has come. A recent study has, in fact, stated that
the number of times a modern young man cries in public is three times more than
his father.
I had just been a witness to a pleasing technological interruption of a
cell-phone that did wonders. Technology is driving the human wellness today by
counting steps, reminding to drink water, tracking sleep pattern and so on. The
complex web of emotions is, so far, away from the domain of technology but time
may not be far when we have reminders set to indicate that it is time to cry!
Any Angels who Wannacry!
